Love and Valentine's Day Coping Skills

                By Damita JQ                                                           February 2018

 

February marks a holiday centered on love and emotion.  People give cards, flowers, gifts and profess their warm feelings for one another.  Love has always been the focus Valentine’s Day. There are different forms of love - love for self, partners, friends, and family.  It is important to remember that in order to love another, it is vital to first love yourself.  How can you truly be good to another if you cannot be good to yourself?

Love yourself.  Take care of yourself.  Love others.  Treat others with love and care.  I have been single, in a relationship, alone, and am now married.  I have run the gamut of emotions during this holiday, especially when I was alone and saw the television's love ads.  Some truths are that things can change for the better, so if you are not fulfilled romantically, there is always a new day of possibilities.  Another truth is that you should love yourself.
Everyone focuses on this one day of love because love is a truly great.  It is a blessing when our love and emotions are reciprocated and involves respect and consideration from your significant other.    

But, let’s be honest.  Love is not always perfect.  Sometimes you love someone who does not feel the same about you or respect you.   

How do you cope with Valentine’s Day if you are involved with someone?   Say something loving to your significant other.  Send them a sweet email message mentioning your love and appreciation.  Offer your significant other a meal, a massage, a flower, some token of your appreciation.  If your love is reciprocated, then respect that love and hold it close to your heart.It is vital to show others you appreciate them and not assume that they already know how you feel.   

If you are alone, then do something special for yourself.  If you feel sad or melancholy remember that where you were yesterday or today does not mean that the same situation will persist today!

You matter too.  Do not forget to take care of your emotional and mindfulness needs by enjoying each moment.  If you are not able to do something special for yourself on Valentine’s Day, then do something over the weekend.  Some examples could be buying a pleasant-smelling lotion bottle, treating yourself to a beloved single serving of dessert, hiking, working out in the gym, or going to an arboretum or park.

A couple of helpful resources for those single, alone, or coping on Valentine’s Day:

1.     If single on Valentine’s Day, read https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Happy-Being-Single-on-Valentine's-Day

2.     If coping with grief and the loss of a loved one on this day, check out https://www.verywell.com/how-to-survive-valentines-day-grief-1132537

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